Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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