Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
