His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
