we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
