I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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