I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
