Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
