Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
