Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
we're so committed to being not committed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
