He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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