Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
