They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
