Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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