Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He? As in you personified your dick?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
