Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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