I faked an abortion last night.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
