Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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