idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
