Nicole vs. Life
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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