I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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