I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
