carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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