so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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