Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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