I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im holly from the hills drunk
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
