I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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