i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
