Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
