The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
