Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
