her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
