your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
