...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
