my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
