She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
