This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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