Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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