I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
