so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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