I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
