Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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