I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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