I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
