she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
