How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
