Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
