Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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