Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
