i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
