spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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