I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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